Down But Not Out

‘Sort of like being the only sober person at a party of drunks’

My husband is officially laid off today, after 26 years with the company and roughly 2 weeks before Christmas. We have scaled back tremendously—no gift baskets to relatives, only cards. No big presents to my two adult kids—just some cash and a few stocking stuffers. No trips to see family.  My adult son has only been able to get part time work and lives at home with us.

To cheer the holiday up we decided to have a Mexican food fiesta for our family- it’s inexpensive, well-loved by all, and will break the tradtion of the usual ham or turkey. We’ll watch a movie at home or maybe catch a matinee.

Not being a part of the consumerism, it is sickening to watch. Sort of like being the only sober person at a part of drunks. That part feels good!

Julie M.

‘Holidays literally around the corner with with not a dollar to spend for my loved ones is quite depressing and stressful’

I have been jobless for about a month or so now. My previous job was in Fremont barely making enough to get there and back due to my car that ate my gas and of the prices being outrageously high. But like everyone else, I needed a job to get me around. Let alone every pay check went into bills which now is piling up due to no income. And giving money to my parents who unfortunately are unemployed as well and are seniors.

The previous job out of the blue let me go due to their lack of resources and ever since I’ve been looking for another job. Yet, no luck. Holidays literally around the corner with with not a dollar to spend for my loved ones is quite depressing and stressful. Every year I would get everyone something even if it was something small but this time I can’t even do that. Giving during the holidays is the best feeling and not being able to do that makes me not want to be around my family and friends. I would feel selfish and wrong receiving and not giving anything in return.

Yesterday, I went to the mall and it hit me. Seeing everyone shopping with numerous bags in their hands and not even one in mine made me emotional. I got into deep thoughts, ” What am I going to do? I have no money to spend to buy anything. ” So I left the mall, but the thoughts remained. Hopefully, I get a job soon. Even if the gifts might be late, its always better to be late than never. That became my conclusion. That way I’m not over stressing knowing my family and friends won’t even mind. Just to spend quality time would be more than enough.

I’ve always been big on loved ones. Luckily for me my family and friends are near by. Though no one should go through the holidays with heavy shoulders, I learned a valuable lesson. Save money. I spent money here and there throughout the year. And when the most important time of the year comes, I have none. I had no suspicions a meeting on a Monday would end up to me losing my job. Now I am in the ratio of jobless for the holidays.

Mary B.; San Leandro, CA

‘My presents from my family members will be things to help me in any way get a new job’

This Christmas will be worse for my family than it was last year. My parents and I are unable to buy presents for any family members. If we’re lucky, maybe we could at least buy them some of those chocolate-covered cherry candies. My presents from my extended family members will be things to help me in any way get a new job, such as how two of my aunts are buying me a new pair of glasses. I don’t have any children because I’m single, and for that I’m glad. I severely doubt I could look into my children’s faces and tell them that their Christmas will be a small one because of how poor I am.

The holidays have become just another day trying to survive with as little as possible. There’s no point in celebrating. Days blur together into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. I don’t expect any major changes from my hometown. It is a dying small town, one that reeks of incompetence and an unexplained hatred of new technology. It is living too far in the past, and it’s sunk too far down for anyone to throw it a rope to save it.

Of course I’ve had to focus less on consumerism. I have no unemployment checks, and my only source of money is from food stamps. I’m forced to buy only what my parents and me need the most. If that means living a week on tuna sandwiches, then so be it. While putting off those big purchases come with the territory, it obviously wears down on your soul. You feel as if you’re lagging behind everyone else, even when you’re all in the same position.

My resolutions for 2012 are the same they were for 2011. To find a new job as soon as possible. To find a new job that I actually enjoy working. To find a new job where I’m not mentally and physically beaten down for pointing out what is wrong within the company. To find a new job where my bosses aren’t kissing each other’s butts and ignoring any major problems I point out to them. To find a new job which lets me escape the trap of “I need experience for jobs but how do they expect me to gain it when I can’t get a job?” To find a new job so I can finally escape my hometown’s void of nothingness, and possibly even move to a new state where it is not afraid of change or the future.

America needs jobs and it needs jobs now. However, I do not expect any politicians to take the American public seriously anymore. Their careers come first to them, and if it means declining a city’s effort to bring in new jobs then that’s what they will do. The divide between the rich and the middle class along with the poor will only grow further apart. The old American motto is sticking together to help your fellow American through tough times is long dead. Now it’s become fend for yourself because very few people will be considerate enough to help you. Wake me up when this nightmare ends.

Andrew Gardner; Tullahoma, TN

‘This past Friday, on the afternoon of our annual evening company Christmas party, I was told I was being laid off’

I thought I would add my two cents to the tale of the down but not out stories. I have been employed for the past eleven years in a small Civil Engineering and Surveying office. Times have been tough and we all have been taking unpaid furlough days to help keep the office overhead in check.

This past Friday, on the afternoon of our annual evening company Christmas party, I was told I was being laid off. I unfortunately “earn too much money” and my position of office manager/executive assistant is being done away with. This, needless to say, was a bit of a shock especially by happening on the day of the holiday party that I have planned and executed for the past decade. Sort of unthoughtful in my opinion, but such apparently is life in big and small companies around the country. Employees feelings are often not taken into consideration, rather the bottom line is.

But fortunately I’m done shopping for the the kids (luckily all of their gifts were paid for with cash), our home is decorated with love and joy, and I am expecting to have one of my very best Christmas holidays ever. Because you see, I have my family and friends around me and we all are healthy, happy and thankful we have each other. These seemingly small things really have no price tag because they ARE priceless. The joy of seeing the kids open their presents Christmas morning, the big dinner with family and friends, and the celebration of the holiday can only boost my spirits.

I will rejoice in having the rest of December off to spend with the family and in the New Year I will begin my job search. My resume is being fine tuned, my cover letter will knock their socks off, and I will land the job of my dreams in 2012!

Plus, I am treating myself to several weeks in New York City the first part of January. I have air miles to burn and friends to visit. So, as you can see, life really is great after being laid off and that is how I chose to see it. I’m definitely not wearing rose colored glasses, I know the reality of landing a great job in this economic climate will be difficult. But what I have that so many other people don’t is the support and love of those around me!

Pam N.; Santa Cruz, CA

‘I’m grateful that I don’t have a family of my own right now’

This is my second Christmas in a row unemployed. In fact, my 99 weeks of unemployment are ending in January, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. My usual work is as an entertainment executive in Los Angeles, but my holidays this year will be spent looking for any job I can get and deciding if I’m going to have to declare bankruptcy. Merry Christmas to me!

I’m 36 now and I’ve been looking for work since I was 34 when got laid of with a third of my company. I’m pretty sure after this long, I’m never going to be able to get a similar job to the one I had. I have a big gap in my resume. Other jobs in my industry require other years experience I don’t have.

I have 3 roommates to be able to pay rent, and they’ve all been having their own employment problems too. I’m grateful that I don’t have a family of my own right now. I could never consider starting one at this point in my life. I have dealt with a lot of depression since being laid off that I never used to have. I’ve become more distant from my family and friends, and I’m afraid that my personality has changed somewhat. I hope that I can find something where I don’t have to worry all the time and I can feel like myself again.

The holidays come at a pretty bad time for me this year. Since my unemployment is about to end, I will only buy a few small presents for a few close friends and family. I haven’t been home to see my parents who live across the country in years. And with the economy the way it is, they can’t afford to help me much either. Another phone-call Christmas.

I can’t afford to decorate for Christmas this year, but I do try to get out and enjoy the season and decorations that are around public areas. I look forward to being able to fully partake in gift-giving and decorating for another Christmas someday.

Upsides? Well, I don’t have to go into an office every day, but that’s the only one I can think of. Actually, I’m not sure that’s an upside. Staying at home all day every day is not as fun as it sounds. Not after almost two years, anyway. I want to work. I want to find a job. Hollywood pretty much shuts down for two weeks during the holidays, so it makes finding one right now that much harder. I’m not holding my breath. My resolution for 2012 is the same as it’s been since 2010: Find a job.

Collin B; Los Angeles

‘We will have a special dinner if the meat goes on sale’

I am a 56 year old female who has been out of work since early Feb. 2009. I worked with an educational travel organization located here in Spokane, WA. I live 25 miles west of downtown. My significant other is a 60 year old male on disability retirement from the federal government (not SSI).

Having run out of unemployment in Jan, 2011, I’ve been supporting myself by taking cash out of a Roth IRA. I will soon deplete it. We have been economizing as much as possible by not traveling, but even to go into town to get groceries is a 60 mile round trip.

We will not be celebrating the holiday. We haven’t given each other gifts for Christmas or birthdays since I was laid off. We will have a special dinner if the meat goes on sale.

Luckily, we don’t have children, so we don’t have to explain why there is no tree, decorations or gifts.

The holidays are stressful, especially if it snows as that means shoveling and clearing. As it is, we keep the thermostat very low and light a fire during the daytime as the temps have been in the 20s, and the heater is set at 62. At night we keep it set to 55. We are luckier than Spokanites, as we live so far out in the country that we can cut our own firewood, and our electricity provider is a co-op and not Avista (who requests rate hikes at least once a year). Propane to heat the house is our biggest expense, but our provider tries hard to deliver only if the price per gallon has dropped a little.

Gasoline is running currently at $3.48/gallon locally, which has gone down since Thanksgiving. This is another reason we try hard to make only one trip into town per week.

Since I’ve been out of work, I’ve volunteered at the Humane Society, went back to school to try to upgrade my skills, and have been helping a friend with breast cancer get to her doctor appointments since she doesn’t drive. (Her husband drives a school bus, and his pay is deducted if he takes time off).

The unemployment rate here in Spokane is still close to 9%, and even with the extra schooling, I still have not been able to find a job. There have been weeks where there are no jobs for which I can apply. I try to stay positive, but as money gets tighter, I get more worried about the future. The holidays just make it that much harder.

Pat Sibley; Spokane, WA

‘I’ve found that so many of the people who I thought were my friends are only friends for those who are not in need’

I quit my job with a Project Management company in early 2010 to come back to my hometown and take care of my elderly parents who both have major health issues. As one of 5 children and the only single one, I felt it was my responsibility to care for them. Like most people who have not been hit very hard by the economy, I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be trying to find work. I worked a few temporary jobs when I finally landed a permanent position with another construction company. After 8 months they had to cutback on “overhead expenses” which meant cutting people and of course, as the newest employee I was let go in June of 2011. I didn’t have anything savings left but was able to pay off all my debt so my unemployment has been barely enough to get me by while searching for work.

I am a 53 year old female who has spent her career working in accounting/bookkeeping/office administration for most of my career. I no longer go out for my once a month dinner with my friends, I no longer go to Starbucks, I no longer spend anything unless it is for a necessity. I cannot afford health insurance so I have not seen a doctor since 2009. Thank God I have not needed any medical attention. I was given an opportunity for a 3 month temporary assignment about 2 weeks ago but was told after 7 days that they were going to use a “friend of a current employee to do the work” so I just found out yesterday that my services would no longer be needed. With Christmas quickly approaching and no funds to provide for my daughter, it was simply the worst news I could get. So, this Christmas will be spent baking our favorite cookies, preparing a Christmas day meal and just trying to be thankful for each other.

I have to admit it has been very hard emotionally for me because I’ve found that so many of the people who I thought were my friends are only friends for those who are not in need. Of all my “friends” there has been only one who even bothered to ask if we needed food or money for gas to get to interviews or help with the electric bill. Everyone else has spent time talking about their vacation home or their shopping trips or going to their favorite artists concert or how busy they are wrapping their Christmas gifts. It has certainly made me painfully aware that most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they are oblivious to the suffering of others around them.

No, I don’t have money for gifts this year and I don’t do any of the things I used to enjoy doing and there is no job waiting for me in the forseable future. But I have had a wake up call and I am very aware of how very hard it is for others out there. I realize that there are some things much more important than going through ones day as though a kind word to someone who may be hurting or holding the door for an elderly person just doesn’t matter … because it does. And for those people who are “living the life and loving it” as I’ve seen from so many I know say, someone you know could use your help. If you are doing well, how could it hurt you to pay it forward to someone who could desperately use your help?

Connie C.; VA

‘I got my parents to help me get baking products to make everyone sweet treats’

I am 19 years old and live in Northern Virginia. I have been out of work for a year now, I was working at Spirit Halloween/Toyzam for the holidays last year and was laid-off right before Christmas. I have been searching for a job since then and I can’t find one that I meet qualifications for. This year for gifts I got my parents to help me get baking products to make everyone sweet treats nothing special, just the usual chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies.

I love the holidays and the spirit within the holidays but sometimes (like this year) I get stressed because I can’t get anyone anything really nice that would mean a lot to me because I don’t have money. I love getting my loved ones at least 1 pricey gift because to me they are priceless and I get them something I know would mean a lot. The last 2 holiday seasons I took a loved one to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert and I so wanted to keep up the tradition but unfortunately it was postponed until next year because I have no source of income.

In 2012 I hope to find something stable and steady and be able to save up and make up next year for what I am unable to do this year. No matter what I will still enjoy being with my family and boyfriend and celebrating the reason for the season, The Birth of Christ! Merry Christmas!!

Amber C;, VA

‘My 2012 resolution is simple: survival’

I have been unemployed for almost 15 months. My last position was as an assistant manager for the US Census. Before that position, I was unemployed for almost 11 months. In total, I have been unemployed for 26 of the last 46 months.

Even with putting in thousands of applications, I have only received three interviews.  I am not one of those people who, “sleeps later” and is comfortable with being out of work. I am embarrassed by having to live off of others and would do any type of work if it meant providing for my family. I wish that Christmas would not come this year. Even with cutting everything back to the bare minimums, we still have barely enough for food and utilities.

In addition, my mortgage company informed me that they were not going to extend my unemployment modification (I guess they expect everyone to have gainful employment within a six month period). This took up an additional one-third of our monthly funds but it was the only way we could keep the house. My Christmas is going to be filled with worry about whether or not we will be homeless in the next couple of months.

I watch the commercials of happy families sitting around, reveling in their presents and think, “A few years ago, that was us.”  Now we have been reduced to shreds of hope and waiting for the knock at the door that will tell us how much longer we will have shelter.  Everyday, I job search and volunteer at a museum and put on a brave face so the little ones will not feel the pain and stress that I am feeling.

Growing up, I always watched the Christmas shows that say how Christmas is the season for miracles—the reality is that it is not. I know that this will probably not get printed in lieu of other, more positive responses but this is my reality, and my Christmas.  My 2012 resolution is simple: survival.

Shawn V.; Rockford, IL

‘I find myself on the Internet looking at craigslist ads for things people are giving away for free so that my kids can have some sense of Christmas’

I have currently been out of work for two months but was living paycheck to paycheck before i was fired. I was fired after being in the hospital for 4 days from my job as a head housekeeper. I have 4 kids all under the age of 6 and am finding it extremely hard to get into the holiday spirit. We cant pay the basic bills fully and as far as rent goes its not getting paid at all, and we are in the process of being evicted with no hope of where we are going to go from here.

I can’t just go out and buy my kids things for Christmas like I would like so I find myself on the Internet looking at craigslist ads for things people are giving away for free so that my kids can have some sense of Christmas. I wake up everyday not knowing of what’s going to happen that day, and just hoping for the best. I do believe that you have to be in this kind of position to truly understand how it feels to be at the bottom level of the economy.

We stopping going to see friends and family as much as we used to because gas isn’t cheap, and had to resort to leaving the house only when we feel like the walls are caving in on us. I like to think that my kids are too young to fully understand what we are going through, but have to hold back tears when my 6 year old comes home from school with a paper for a field trip or for a book fair saying, “I know we don’t have the money for this but i really want …” So I scrimp and save so that she can at least appear normal in front of her peers who I wonder if they are struggling just like us.

I cant really say that I’ve focused much on a resolution for the next year. And other than to start working and be able to support my family and give them everything they deserve, I cant imagine hoping and working for more.

Heather Yeager; Tampa, FL