Down But Not Out

‘I have a job now, but I’m a contractor’

I’m 38. Have a 3 year-old-son. I have a Masters and Bachelors in social science (my first mistake) and I wonder why I ever got an education.

I was working as a project specialist in Jacksonville, Florida as a full-time employee for about a year when I bought a house (my second mistake) Suddenly I was laid off. They (the same bank) brought me back on as a contractor, long enough for me to save some money, and I was laid off again.

From April of 2009 until October of 2009, I applied for unemployment and in the state of Florida, at the time it was $275/week. Obama passed a bill and gave us an extra $25 dollars a week. Thanks for that. It was money, but I was slowly losing the battle.

I left Jacksonville, Florida moved back to St. Louis, Missouri, in hopes of finding a job and rented out the house in Jacksonville for less/a month than what I owed. Because I didn’t and still don’t want to foreclose. However at this point I’m not sure I have a choice. Taxes went up in Florida and I don’t get the home exemption anymore since I don’t live there. (You can Google the home exemption)

I have a job now, but I’m a contractor, and was told it was ending Aug. 5. Then I was shifted to a project I’m on now, but it runs out (supposedly) at end of year. Who knows. I’m sure they ran “out of funding.” I’ve been told that before too.

My employer is notorious for letting go contractors though, so I’ve been sending out resumes left and right.

So far I’ve been lucky bouncing from one temp job to the next—but I hope my luck doesn’t run out. It’s just frustrating. It shouldn’t be this hard to find full-time work!

I’m looking at admin jobs, coordinator, anything. I leave off my Masters as well most times, because I don’t want the employer to think they have to pay for a person with a Masters. You never know.

I have played by the rules, I did everything right. I went to school, I made great grades, I did it all. And now I’m wondering what was it all for??

I’m not down and out but it’s close. I can see the wave coming and I’m trying to steer clear, and it’s really hard. I wish I could move to another country and make money, but as an American, I can’t really immigrate anywhere else. I see all these people wanting to come here to better their lives for the supposed American dream? And I think, “for what?” There is no dream. It’s just a nightmare covered in sugar.

Hope W., via email