Down But Not Out

‘I’m grateful that I don’t have a family of my own right now’

This is my second Christmas in a row unemployed. In fact, my 99 weeks of unemployment are ending in January, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. My usual work is as an entertainment executive in Los Angeles, but my holidays this year will be spent looking for any job I can get and deciding if I’m going to have to declare bankruptcy. Merry Christmas to me!

I’m 36 now and I’ve been looking for work since I was 34 when got laid of with a third of my company. I’m pretty sure after this long, I’m never going to be able to get a similar job to the one I had. I have a big gap in my resume. Other jobs in my industry require other years experience I don’t have.

I have 3 roommates to be able to pay rent, and they’ve all been having their own employment problems too. I’m grateful that I don’t have a family of my own right now. I could never consider starting one at this point in my life. I have dealt with a lot of depression since being laid off that I never used to have. I’ve become more distant from my family and friends, and I’m afraid that my personality has changed somewhat. I hope that I can find something where I don’t have to worry all the time and I can feel like myself again.

The holidays come at a pretty bad time for me this year. Since my unemployment is about to end, I will only buy a few small presents for a few close friends and family. I haven’t been home to see my parents who live across the country in years. And with the economy the way it is, they can’t afford to help me much either. Another phone-call Christmas.

I can’t afford to decorate for Christmas this year, but I do try to get out and enjoy the season and decorations that are around public areas. I look forward to being able to fully partake in gift-giving and decorating for another Christmas someday.

Upsides? Well, I don’t have to go into an office every day, but that’s the only one I can think of. Actually, I’m not sure that’s an upside. Staying at home all day every day is not as fun as it sounds. Not after almost two years, anyway. I want to work. I want to find a job. Hollywood pretty much shuts down for two weeks during the holidays, so it makes finding one right now that much harder. I’m not holding my breath. My resolution for 2012 is the same as it’s been since 2010: Find a job.

Collin B; Los Angeles